The School of Life
The School of Life is a collective of psychologists, philosophers and writers devoted to helping people lead calmer and more resilient lives. We share ideas on how to understand ourselves better, improve our relationships, take stock of our careers and deepen our social connections - as well as find serenity and grow more confident in facing challenges. We do this through our films, online psychotherapy, online classes and a range of our own books, ebooks and games that you can find on our global online store at www.theschooloflife.com/shop/ We publish one film a week, on Wednesdays at 14.00hrs GMT.

682 videos
What Islam Has to Say About Gardening What Islam Has to Say About Gardening
1 day ago En
We don’t have to be religious to appreciate the beauty of Islamic gardens — nor the wisdom they’re designed to teach us. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3lT3Nzk Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3ztPfec Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/39sp0Kw MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on HISTORY in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLhistory SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in col
Acceptance and Mental Health Acceptance and Mental Health
1 week ago En
No one wants to fall mentally ill. Yet, paradoxically, our insistence on always maintaining perfect mental health may make us more susceptible to becoming unwell. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3tF87pg Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2Xo8dFO Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3kbGAbV “One of the great contributing factors to mental illness is the idea that we should at all costs and and all times be well. We suffer far more than we should because of how long it can take many of us until we allow ourselves to fall properly and usefully ill. For many years we may be able skilfully to eva
How You Could Ruin Someone's Day or Life How You Could Ruin Someone's Day or Life
2 weeks ago En
Few of us consider ourselves capable of hurting others. But everyone has the capacity to cause profound psychological damage - and we should keep this fact in mind when dealing with our fellow humans. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3A7YiTj Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3BSKpZy Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3BOaoBe MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife
How To Be More Loving How To Be More Loving
3 weeks ago En
Loving others is not always easy; particularly since so many people behave in distinctly unloveable ways. The secret to a more loving attitude lies in remembering the essentially childlike aspects of their characters. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3Dz1b1j Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2WA7cKJ Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/38uxaS1 “Perhaps the finest way to develop a loving attitude towards other people is to recall, in the face of their difficulty, that we are, in the end, all children. The claim is an odd one. Adults are clearly not children. They have powers of reasoning that
How Perfectionism Makes Us Ill How Perfectionism Makes Us Ill
4 weeks ago En
‘Perfectionists’ are generally held in high-esteem: praised for their self-discipline and refusal to compromise. Yet in truth, the trait is a manifestation of self-hatred - and must be overcome if we are ever to feel truly fulfilled. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3y0pYYf Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3y05w9X Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2Wbg74o “Part of our problem as a species is that we’re troublingly good at making things perfect. We can set our minds on an extraordinary goal and – with heroic sacrifice, thousands of hours of effort, many wrong turns and periods of intense des
How to Find Creative Work How to Find Creative Work
1 month ago En
Those of us who aspire to work in a creative field often end up despairing that such roles seem so few and far between. Yet the search is less hopeless than it looks: we simply need to think more deeply about what ‘creativity’ really means. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://www.theschooloflife.com/shop/us/ Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://www.theschooloflife.com/ Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on WORK and CAPITALISM in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLcapitalism SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelond
A Self-hatred Questionnaire A Self-hatred Questionnaire
1 month ago En
A particularly awful aspect of self-hatred is that we may not even be aware that we are suffering from it. Here is a list of questions to help us diagnose an absence of self-compassion. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3jN6alR Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3lYCjKh Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/37zixg0 “The temptation, with dealing with anxiety, is always and invariably to focus on the ostensible cause of our worry: the journey to the airport, the forthcoming speech, the letter one is waiting for, the presentation one has to hand in… But if we proceed more psychologically, we might be
Learning to Forgive Ourselves Learning to Forgive Ourselves
1 month ago En
Learning to forgive is always difficult, but never more so than when the transgressor is ourselves. Here are some thoughts to help us begin to practice the neglected art of self-compassion. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3fsmTtm Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3yqQOcS Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3jkOspQ MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.ins
Pills or Therapy? What is best for you? Pills or Therapy? What is best for you?
1 month ago En
The advent of medication to treat mental illness from the 1950s onwards has had untold benefits, enabling countless numbers of us to manage the symptoms of our unwellness. Yet pills can never ‘cure’ us on their own: they must be married with therapeutic treatments to be lastingly effective. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3rC8HTI Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2V0uyYV Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join RELATED PRODUCTS Need Emotional First Aid? - https://bit.ly/3zM38VI Master your Mind and Body - https://bit.ly/2Wvk04D FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3iVTZmr “A standard strategy, when we are physically unwell, is to
Two Reasons People End up Bad Parents Two Reasons People End up Bad Parents
2 months ago En
Developing a sane relationship to our own past is a crucial factor in enabling us to avoid the common mistakes of "bad parenting". Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3Btvm95 Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3kHBQLQ Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3zfBDTS “Given how important it is to be properly loved by one’s parents in order to have an emotionally sane grown-up life, one may wonder with some urgency why – in cases that range from the regrettable to the truly tragic – the process can go so wrong. Why do some parents – who might in other areas be decent and thoughtful characters – fail so b
How to Increase Resilience How to Increase Resilience
2 months ago En
It’s perfectly normal to feel weak, lost, and unable to cope. Here is a collection of thoughts to remind us of our inner reserves of resilience. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/36z6bUn Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3xzMqYN Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3wEO9uv “It’s only too easy to get discouraged. Here are a few things to keep in mind: Everyone fails sometimes; some people just hide it better than others. There is always a Plan B. Perfection was never on the cards. You’re allowed to cry uncontrollably sometimes. Some people will love you always - whatever. Those that matter don’t
How to Love Your Work How to Love Your Work
2 months ago En
These days, a job needs to offer us more than financial security: we want them to provide us with status and meaning. But to feel truly satisfied with our careers, we may need to look elsewhere to find fulfillment. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3xiM1d7 Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3xmKG5a Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3yK9ggH “In a perfect world, when it came to choosing an occupation, we would have only two priorities in mind: – to find a job that we enjoyed – to find a job that paid us enough to cover reasonable material needs But in order to think so freely, we would have to
What Rembrandt Can Teach Us About Love What Rembrandt Can Teach Us About Love
2 months ago En
We celebrate Rembrandt as one of history’s greatest painters. But his troubled life story provides us with clues for interpreting the hidden, radical purpose of his art. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3hiRJoG Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3y2136W Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/rembrandt-as-a-guide-to-kindness/ "Born in 1606, Rembrandt became a hugely successful painter when he was still only in his twenties. He earned a fortune and lived a wildly extravagant life. But by his early fifties, he was all but bankrupt: he had to sell his house and all the
Why We Call Our Partners 'baby' Why We Call Our Partners 'baby'
3 months ago En
Throughout our lives, we are continually compelled to ‘grow up’. But a secure relationship offers us the chance for the opposite: to regress to a more vulnerable, childlike state.  Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3vOPfnd Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3zMhWnX Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3gSY0ah "One of the most striking features of relationships is that, after a while, if things are going well, one or both partners will almost naturally start to refer to the other as ‘baby’. They might, alternatively or in addition, stick a diminutive on to the end of their name (‘-ie’), bu
How Dreading the Future May Be a Symptom of Your Past How Dreading the Future May Be a Symptom of Your Past
3 months ago En
Our anxiety about the future - feeling that we’re destined for ruin and disgrace - may feel like a rational assessment of our present circumstances. But its roots most likely stretch far further back: to forgotten traumas we underwent in the past. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3g429ZF Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3zmZ131 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3g5IFUP MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https:/
How to Handle Mental Illness in the Long-term How to Handle Mental Illness in the Long-term
3 months ago En
Sadly, in most cases, mental illness is a chronic condition: not a one-off, but something that’s likely to recur in the future. Coping requires us to accept this - and put in place a strategy for managing our symptoms over the long-term. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3cbKTiX Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3yXWiNd Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3uHrdKh "We would – of course – like any encounter with mental illness to be as brief as possible and, most importantly, to be isolated and singular. But the reality is that for many of us, the illness will threaten to return for visits throu
Hysteria When Your Partner Is Too Calm Hysteria When Your Partner Is Too Calm
4 months ago En
Within couples, a dynamic often emerges during arguments where one person becomes very ‘emotional’ (much to the annoyance of their ‘reasonable’ partner). Yet the wisest response is not frustration, but compassion: to try to understand the source of their emotional distress. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3wyP5B1 Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/34nzhow Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3fKgysF "There are arguments in which one person will get so upset that they start to behave in ways that range far beyond the imagined norms of civilised conduct: they speak in a highly pitched voice, the
Our Need for Connection Our Need for Connection
4 months ago En
A common symptom of mental unwellness is the desire to isolate ourselves from others. Yet far from marking us out as abnormal or repellant, our suffering is an opportunity to connect with the countless others who feel just as lost as we do. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3yp8iqI Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3oulNR8 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3ylnu8f “One of the cruellest aspects of mental illness is that it strips us of any ability to believe that other people might be suffering in the way we are. We aren’t being wilfully egocentric or arrogant; we are condemned by our illness
The Body Keeps the Score The Body Keeps the Score
4 months ago En
A growing body of research suggests that mental unwellness doesn’t just take a toll on our minds; it affects our physical selves as well. We need to listen to what our bodies are telling us - and care for them as diligently as we care for our thoughts. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3w5UPCh Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3eEWHMr Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3frHP3d MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: http
How to Keep a Relationship Going How to Keep a Relationship Going
4 months ago En
Is it possible to spot the difference between a 'strong' couple whose relationships will last and a 'fragile' couple who are doomed to failure? Here are some signs to watch out for... Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3xJYOWD Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3elfI6t Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3eQ2eyy MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.
Overcoming Sexual Shame Overcoming Sexual Shame
5 months ago En
Though we live in supposedly enlightened times, many of us are still burdened with intense feelings of shame around our own sexuality and desires. Overcoming this requires us to face up to the scale of the problem - and find ways of discussing our innermost feelings more nakedly. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3a9hWTY Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3gb2NFk Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3gb2Sc6 “We have collectively grown highly attuned to the problems associated with a lack of shame around sex: with a decadent culture in which it seems that everything goes, where the atmosphere is o
What Is Mental Health? What Is Mental Health?
5 months ago En
Nowadays, we know more and more about what it means to be mentally unwell - but what exactly constitutes mental 'health’? In this film, we’ll explore what characterises an optimally functioning mind. If you are struggling with mental health there are lines where you can get professional support: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/nhs-voluntary-charity-services/charity-and-voluntary-services/get-help-from-mental-health-helplines/ Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3fUUCwV Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3cUfTVu Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3wzucqh “So efficient and hushed are our brains
How Unloving Parents Generate Self-Hating Children How Unloving Parents Generate Self-Hating Children
6 months ago En
Our sense of self-worth is dependent upon the love we were shown as children. The legacy of an unloving parent may be a lifetime of self-hatred, which we need to unpick in order to escape. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3vUbZDk Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3lNjzeg Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2PrPh4H “A central fact about early childhood is that babies are born into the world entirely at the mercy of others. They have no native strength, intelligence or utility, they cannot fight or complain, walk away or argue their case, their survival depends solely on their capacity to look u
How to Say Thank You How to Say Thank You
6 months ago En
Life constantly requires that we say thank you to people - for presents, favours and helpful actions. But expressing thanks is a far from straightforward business. To be properly skilled at it, we need to learn the art of getting specific. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2OFnG01 Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3tHggsb Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/30OGxYP “Life continually requires that we write down a few words of thanks: for holidays, meals, presents or people’s place in our hearts. However, too often, our messages end up flat or somewhat unconvincing; we say that the dinner was ‘won
To Have or Not to Have Children To Have or Not to Have Children
6 months ago En
When deciding whether or not to have children, we should acknowledge that we aren’t choosing either a ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ answer - merely deciding which form of future suffering we are best suited for. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3bzHvhK Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2PFavw7 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/30wvpQc “Modern societies are pretty much in agreement on this score: having children is one of the most meaningful and delightful moves anyone can make. Couples who do not – for whatever reason – have children tend to be automatically almost universally pitied and are assumed
What Is Emotional Neglect? And How to Cope What Is Emotional Neglect? And How to Cope
6 months ago En
Emotional neglect - the withholding of parental love during childhood - can have a psychological impact no less profound than other forms of abuse. Before we can start to recover, we first need to acknowledge the scale of its effects. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2PuEJlz Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3q9NIW0 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3sJTyin “When we imagine the difficulties involved in a so-called ‘bad childhood’, we most readily think in terms of children who are physically harmed – beaten, underfed, sexually abused – or else treated with active contempt: screamed at, blame
When We Fall Mentally Ill... When We Fall Mentally Ill...
7 months ago En
Mental crises can seem to come out of the blue, but their roots probably reach back years, even decades. Recovery begins only when we begin to listen to what our pain is trying to tell us. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3aOJX3y Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2MizuEd Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3bw2nW4 “For a long time, we may cope well enough. We make it to work every morning, we give pleasant summaries of our lives to friends, we smile over dinner. We aren’t totally balanced, but there’s little way of knowing how difficult things might be for other people, and what we have a righ
What Love Really Is and Why It Matters What Love Really Is and Why It Matters
7 months ago En
We talk a lot about love without fully understanding exactly what it means. True love is less an appreciation of strength than a tolerance of (and kindness towards) what is weak and misshapen in another person. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3quAHav Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3quAZ15 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3b8WCxo "There is so much talk of love in our societies, it would be natural to think that we must by now know what it is and why it counts. Love is the excited feeling we get in the presence of someone of unusual accomplishment and talent – great intelligence or beaut
Sleep and Mental Health Sleep and Mental Health
7 months ago En
It can be surprisingly difficult for us to accept that a major cause of much of our mental distress may be nothing so dramatic as a lack of sleep. Getting better requires us to take our need for sleep seriously. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2LCJibX Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3cZr9jS Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3aQc8y6 “Part of the reason why many of us have a tangled and unhelpful relationship to sleep can be traced back to the way we first learnt about the subject many years ago. Parents of small children tend to be very careful about bedtimes. They favour early nigh
Mental Illness and Reasons to Live Mental Illness and Reasons to Live
7 months ago En
Even if we've never spelled them out, each of us carries within us a private list of 'reasons to live'. Mental illness can threaten these reasons: to heal, we may need to seek out new ones. If you are struggling with mental health there are lines where you can get professional support: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3oF9oIB https://bit.ly/2O2W3gM Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3cIgji9 “When we are feeling well in our minds, we hardly notice that we might be harbouring in ourselves anything as formal or as dramatic-sounding as ‘reasons to live.’ We simply assume that we l
How to Tell Whether you're a 'Winner' or a 'Loser' How to Tell Whether you're a 'Winner' or a 'Loser'
7 months ago En
Despite what we might think, there are no such things as ‘winners’ and ‘losers’ in life. Those who win in some areas will lose in others - and vice versa. The task lies in working out where our true successes and failures lie. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/36fbEQH Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3t2aWzO Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3sZxPDY “Our societies have advanced tendencies to label certain people ‘winners’ and others – logically enough – ‘losers’. Aside from the evident meanness of this categorisation, the underlying problem with it is the suggestion that life might be a uni
What Everyone Really Wants What Everyone Really Wants
8 months ago En
Though each individual is unique, deep down, everyone is searching for the same thing: reassurance - a gift that is within all of our power to give. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2NhM32J Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/38XcqU7 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2XZbMPw “We’re often in situations of wanting to help and be kind to others, but of not knowing quite what they might be in need of. We’d like to deepen our connection to them and be of service, and yet lack a real grasp of what we could plausibly offer them; their minds seem impenetrable, their problems opaque. At such moments,
The Three Requirements of a Good Relationship The Three Requirements of a Good Relationship
8 months ago En
It can be hard to know what we really need from a relationship. But the task becomes much simpler if we keep in mind that every relationship requires just three crucial ingredients to work. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2Xyn8Kj Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/39Hq7Wz Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2XCj63C “Many people, after they’ve been in a couple for some time, will privately admit that they are – in many ways – frustrated and disappointed by the person they’ve chosen to share their lives with. If pressed for details, they will have no difficulty coming up with a list: their par
Masochism and Why We Get Addicted to Suffering Masochism and Why We Get Addicted to Suffering
8 months ago En
Masochism is the belief that one is secretly deserving of punishment. Whilst sexual masochism can be fun, emotional masochism - which is much more common - often stems from unexamined trauma. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2XeNOQ1 Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/399PiAq Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3hMJ6T2 “The word Masochism derives, somewhat unfairly for him and his family, from the Austrian 19th century aristocrat and writer, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. As a young man, Leopold made a conventional marriage to a fellow member of the nobility, Aurora von Rümelin, but he swiftly disco
The Secrets of EMDR Therapy and How It Can Help You The Secrets of EMDR Therapy and How It Can Help You
8 months ago En
The fundamental idea behind psychotherapy is that we tend to grow mentally unwell because we haven’t been able to think with sufficient clarity about the difficulties in our past, typically in our distant childhoods. EMDR therapy is a fascinating tool that can help us process these difficulties, move past them and continue with our adult lives. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/37Z5KnR Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/37Z5KnR Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/34VcFfY "The fundamental idea behind psychotherapy is that we tend to grow mentally unwell because we haven’t been able to think with
The Secrets of Other People's Relationships The Secrets of Other People's Relationships
9 months ago En
Those of us in relationships suffer from an ignorance of what other people’s relationships are really like. We should recognise that episodes of difficulty and ambivalence are not the exception, but the norm. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3nJICzp Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3rvdGVV Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2M1Ute6 “A question that rarely leaves us alone in love is: what exactly are other people’s relationships like? The question is far from disinterested sociological curiosity. What we urgently seek to know is: are other people in as much trouble as we are? After a furious
How to Tame a Pitiless Inner Critic How to Tame a Pitiless Inner Critic
9 months ago En
Many of us are struggling with an intensely critical inner voice, one who relentlessly punishes us for failing to live up to an impossible standard. Taming this voice requires us to recognise where it is coming from and what may be driving its fury. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2LGF02T Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3raHrLs Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/389sDUu “One of the tedious aspects of having problems with our minds is that we need to take more of an interest in how they work than untroubled people do: we have to become mind mechanics because something is hurting inside. A
The Secret of Successful Relationships: Rupture and Repair The Secret of Successful Relationships: Rupture and Repair
9 months ago En
No relationship is ever stable; each goes through a regular cycle of ‘rupture’ and ‘repair’. A healthy relationship is not one in which ruptures never occur, but one where both parties are willing and able to repair them. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2VSxR1c Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3oG1WgZ Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/33VjHRr “Many tensions within relationships can usefully be looked at through the prism of a concept much used within psychotherapy: the idea of ‘rupture’ and ‘repair.’ For psychotherapists, every relationship is at risk of moments of frustration or as the t
How to Stop Being a 'good' Boy or Girl How to Stop Being a 'good' Boy or Girl
10 months ago En
We're so used to conforming to the expectations of others that it can be hard to know what 'we' really want. Freedom requires a willingness, at times, to be 'bad'. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3m8lSbl Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/39dFrve Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/33fHZ8d “Some of the reason why adult life can be greyer and more miserable than it should be is that our earliest years are generally made up of a prolonged and highly formative encounter with the idea of obedience. Throughout childhood, there is little doubt that the path to maturity must involve doing a litany o
How to Get Out of a Desparing Mood How to Get Out of a Desparing Mood
10 months ago En
In moments of despair, we may be suffering not from a failure of spirit, but a failure of imagination. The way out lies in exercising our creative capacities. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/36EyVLh Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/36Ej6UO Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2IvSflV “It may sound strange to locate the problem here, but some of our most despairing moods are caused by failures of the imagination. We are not merely ‘sad’; we cannot picture any better life than the agonised one we currently have. What we really mean by imagination is the power to summon up alternatives. When we
How to Read Fewer Books and Get Wiser How to Read Fewer Books and Get Wiser
10 months ago En
To be considered ‘well-read’, one is expected to get through an endless number of books. Instead, like the Ancients, we should focus on the quality not the quantity of one’s reading. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3eKffJo Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3pinfGw Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/35fcAUV “The modern world firmly equates the intelligent person with the well-read person. Reading books, a lot of books, is the hallmark of brilliance as well as the supreme gateway to prestige and understanding. It’s hard to imagine anyone arriving at any insights of value without having worked
Why We Pick Our Skin Why We Pick Our Skin
10 months ago En
Compulsive skin picking is a surprisingly common affliction. Understanding the psychology that underpins it is the first step towards learning how to heal. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/32sMfBd Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2TYgPO5 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2HTScQA “If we were to need any further evidence of the difficulties of being human, we need only study the poignant phenomenon that psychologists call dermatillomania – more commonly known as skin picking. Those who suffer from it will, by definition, be at the anxious end of the spectrum. Few days will be free of g
The Need to Be Honest at the Start of Relationships The Need to Be Honest at the Start of Relationships
11 months ago En
In an effort to please a new partner, it’s sometimes tempting to stretch the truth. But to avoid difficulties down the line, it would be better to be honest - even blunt - from the off. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3ouL3q8 Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3kANs05 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/31ME0zq “A powerful instinct when we meet someone we’re attracted to is to try to please them – and we naturally assume that the best way we might do this is to indicate repeatedly how aligned we are with their views and choices on all matters great and small. On an early date, when they happe
On Feeling Stuck On Feeling Stuck
11 months ago En
Many of us feel ‘stuck’ - wishing we could escape a job or relationship, while being incapable of doing so. Coming unstuck involves examining unhelpful messages we internalised in childhood. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/36FZVLK Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2SCy6M4 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3iDqELt “Many of us spend a large a part of our lives, in one way or another, feeling stuck, that is in a state where a strong desire to move forward on an issue meets with an equally strong compulsion to stay fixed where one is. For example, we might at one level powerfully want to leave
How to Panic a Little Less How to Panic a Little Less
11 months ago En
The philosopher Spinoza shows us that our minds possess an under-appreciated ability to adopt a broader perspective, from which our anxieties appear vanishingly small - and eminently manageable. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2G2Fq1c Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/33eWF8h Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2EIReVF “One of the most useful things about our minds is that they can in some moods allow us to step outside of ourselves – and consider our death from a wholly dispassionate perspective, as if it were someone else who would have to go through the event and as if we could understan
Why There Is No 'Happily Ever After' Why There Is No 'Happily Ever After'
2 years ago En
We long to reach a state where we can at last be happy and calm forever. But so long as we are alive, stability will always elude us for reasons we would do well to understand and accept with grace. We haven't failed if we can't reach a 'happily ever after'; we're simply very human. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/301zpIM Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/360qyuP Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3kLam4J “What most of us long for above all else is ‘security’, the sense that we are – at last – safe on the earth. We pin our hopes for security on a shifting array of targets: a happy relations
Why Voltaire Said: You Must Cultivate Your Own Garden Why Voltaire Said: You Must Cultivate Your Own Garden
2 years ago En
Voltaire's phrase - you must cultivate your own garden - is one of the most famous statements in the world. But what did Voltaire mean by this - and what can we learn from it to help us live our lives today? Here is a recipe for how to survive our troubled times. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3iO98oR Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3hu887K Become a channel member to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3mtAWkg “It is crucial to note the subtitle of 18th century Europe’s most famous novel, written in three inspired days in 1759: ‘Candide – or Optimism’. If there was one central target that its author wanted sa
A Test to Work Out if You're a Good Person A Test to Work Out if You're a Good Person
2 years ago En
Whether or not we count as a good person depends on an unexpected but crucial ingredient. Find out more about whether you qualify by watching the film. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/33aGJmf Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2Zk6LCi Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3m7ovue “There is really only one question you ever need to direct at someone to work out whether or not they are a good person – and that is, with deliberate simplicity: Do you think you are a good person? And to this there is only one acceptable answer. People who are genuinely good, people who know about kindness, patience
12 signs you might be suffering from PTSD 12 signs you might be suffering from PTSD
2 years ago En
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) refers to a state in which we are severely impacted in the present by emotional neglect in our childhoods. The symptoms include high anxiety, low self-esteem, a constant sense of dread - and (often) difficulty being able to sleep. By learning more about our condition, we can (probably through the help of psychotherapy) hope to free ourselves and be more at ease in the world. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2QJmC8X Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3gQuOP0 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3jAhz6T “The purpose of language is to help us to get
The Dangers of Having Too Little To Do The Dangers of Having Too Little To Do
2 years ago En
We long to get all our work done in order to have free time. But we should be very careful with leisure. Having nothing left to do work-wise can be a very dangerous challenge for our psyches: it can bring on despair and self-loathing. It may be that always having projects on the go can insulate us from mental unwellness. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/34vN4uL Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2EzjKsp Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3aVvIZf "For most of our lives, we’re hard at work: we’re up till midnight in the library studying for a degree, we’re learning a trade, building a business,
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