The School of Life
The School of Life is a collective of psychologists, philosophers and writers devoted to helping people lead calmer and more resilient lives. We share ideas on how to understand ourselves better, improve our relationships, take stock of our careers and deepen our social connections - as well as find serenity and grow more confident in facing challenges. We do this through our films, online psychotherapy, online classes and a range of our own books, ebooks and games that you can find on our global online store at www.theschooloflife.com/shop/ We publish one film a week, on Wednesdays at 14.00hrs GMT.

668 videos
How Dreading the Future May Be a Symptom of Your Past How Dreading the Future May Be a Symptom of Your Past
4 days ago En
Our anxiety about the future - feeling that we’re destined for ruin and disgrace - may feel like a rational assessment of our present circumstances. But its roots most likely stretch far further back: to forgotten traumas we underwent in the past. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3g429ZF Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3zmZ131 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3g5IFUP MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https:/
How to Handle Mental Illness in the Long-term How to Handle Mental Illness in the Long-term
1 week ago En
Sadly, in most cases, mental illness is a chronic condition: not a one-off, but something that’s likely to recur in the future. Coping requires us to accept this - and put in place a strategy for managing our symptoms over the long-term. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3cbKTiX Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3yXWiNd Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3uHrdKh "We would – of course – like any encounter with mental illness to be as brief as possible and, most importantly, to be isolated and singular. But the reality is that for many of us, the illness will threaten to return for visits throu
Hysteria When Your Partner Is Too Calm Hysteria When Your Partner Is Too Calm
2 weeks ago En
Within couples, a dynamic often emerges during arguments where one person becomes very ‘emotional’ (much to the annoyance of their ‘reasonable’ partner). Yet the wisest response is not frustration, but compassion: to try to understand the source of their emotional distress. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3wyP5B1 Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/34nzhow Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3fKgysF "There are arguments in which one person will get so upset that they start to behave in ways that range far beyond the imagined norms of civilised conduct: they speak in a highly pitched voice, the
Our Need for Connection Our Need for Connection
3 weeks ago En
A common symptom of mental unwellness is the desire to isolate ourselves from others. Yet far from marking us out as abnormal or repellant, our suffering is an opportunity to connect with the countless others who feel just as lost as we do. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3yp8iqI Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3oulNR8 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3ylnu8f “One of the cruellest aspects of mental illness is that it strips us of any ability to believe that other people might be suffering in the way we are. We aren’t being wilfully egocentric or arrogant; we are condemned by our illness
The Body Keeps the Score The Body Keeps the Score
1 month ago En
A growing body of research suggests that mental unwellness doesn’t just take a toll on our minds; it affects our physical selves as well. We need to listen to what our bodies are telling us - and care for them as diligently as we care for our thoughts. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3w5UPCh Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3eEWHMr Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3frHP3d MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: http
How to Keep a Relationship Going How to Keep a Relationship Going
1 month ago En
Is it possible to spot the difference between a 'strong' couple whose relationships will last and a 'fragile' couple who are doomed to failure? Here are some signs to watch out for... Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3xJYOWD Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3elfI6t Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3eQ2eyy MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.
Overcoming Sexual Shame Overcoming Sexual Shame
2 months ago En
Though we live in supposedly enlightened times, many of us are still burdened with intense feelings of shame around our own sexuality and desires. Overcoming this requires us to face up to the scale of the problem - and find ways of discussing our innermost feelings more nakedly. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3a9hWTY Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3gb2NFk Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3gb2Sc6 “We have collectively grown highly attuned to the problems associated with a lack of shame around sex: with a decadent culture in which it seems that everything goes, where the atmosphere is o
What Is Mental Health? What Is Mental Health?
2 months ago En
Nowadays, we know more and more about what it means to be mentally unwell - but what exactly constitutes mental 'health’? In this film, we’ll explore what characterises an optimally functioning mind. If you are struggling with mental health there are lines where you can get professional support: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/nhs-voluntary-charity-services/charity-and-voluntary-services/get-help-from-mental-health-helplines/ Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3fUUCwV Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3cUfTVu Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3wzucqh “So efficient and hushed are our brains
How Unloving Parents Generate Self-Hating Children How Unloving Parents Generate Self-Hating Children
2 months ago En
Our sense of self-worth is dependent upon the love we were shown as children. The legacy of an unloving parent may be a lifetime of self-hatred, which we need to unpick in order to escape. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3vUbZDk Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3lNjzeg Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2PrPh4H “A central fact about early childhood is that babies are born into the world entirely at the mercy of others. They have no native strength, intelligence or utility, they cannot fight or complain, walk away or argue their case, their survival depends solely on their capacity to look u
How to Say Thank You How to Say Thank You
2 months ago En
Life constantly requires that we say thank you to people - for presents, favours and helpful actions. But expressing thanks is a far from straightforward business. To be properly skilled at it, we need to learn the art of getting specific. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2OFnG01 Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3tHggsb Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/30OGxYP “Life continually requires that we write down a few words of thanks: for holidays, meals, presents or people’s place in our hearts. However, too often, our messages end up flat or somewhat unconvincing; we say that the dinner was ‘won
To Have or Not to Have Children To Have or Not to Have Children
3 months ago En
When deciding whether or not to have children, we should acknowledge that we aren’t choosing either a ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ answer - merely deciding which form of future suffering we are best suited for. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3bzHvhK Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2PFavw7 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/30wvpQc “Modern societies are pretty much in agreement on this score: having children is one of the most meaningful and delightful moves anyone can make. Couples who do not – for whatever reason – have children tend to be automatically almost universally pitied and are assumed
What Is Emotional Neglect? And How to Cope What Is Emotional Neglect? And How to Cope
3 months ago En
Emotional neglect - the withholding of parental love during childhood - can have a psychological impact no less profound than other forms of abuse. Before we can start to recover, we first need to acknowledge the scale of its effects. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2PuEJlz Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3q9NIW0 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3sJTyin “When we imagine the difficulties involved in a so-called ‘bad childhood’, we most readily think in terms of children who are physically harmed – beaten, underfed, sexually abused – or else treated with active contempt: screamed at, blame
When We Fall Mentally Ill... When We Fall Mentally Ill...
3 months ago En
Mental crises can seem to come out of the blue, but their roots probably reach back years, even decades. Recovery begins only when we begin to listen to what our pain is trying to tell us. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3aOJX3y Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2MizuEd Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3bw2nW4 “For a long time, we may cope well enough. We make it to work every morning, we give pleasant summaries of our lives to friends, we smile over dinner. We aren’t totally balanced, but there’s little way of knowing how difficult things might be for other people, and what we have a righ
What Love Really Is and Why It Matters What Love Really Is and Why It Matters
3 months ago En
We talk a lot about love without fully understanding exactly what it means. True love is less an appreciation of strength than a tolerance of (and kindness towards) what is weak and misshapen in another person. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3quAHav Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3quAZ15 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3b8WCxo "There is so much talk of love in our societies, it would be natural to think that we must by now know what it is and why it counts. Love is the excited feeling we get in the presence of someone of unusual accomplishment and talent – great intelligence or beaut
Sleep and Mental Health Sleep and Mental Health
4 months ago En
It can be surprisingly difficult for us to accept that a major cause of much of our mental distress may be nothing so dramatic as a lack of sleep. Getting better requires us to take our need for sleep seriously. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2LCJibX Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3cZr9jS Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3aQc8y6 “Part of the reason why many of us have a tangled and unhelpful relationship to sleep can be traced back to the way we first learnt about the subject many years ago. Parents of small children tend to be very careful about bedtimes. They favour early nigh
Mental Illness and Reasons to Live Mental Illness and Reasons to Live
4 months ago En
Even if we've never spelled them out, each of us carries within us a private list of 'reasons to live'. Mental illness can threaten these reasons: to heal, we may need to seek out new ones. If you are struggling with mental health there are lines where you can get professional support: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3oF9oIB https://bit.ly/2O2W3gM Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3cIgji9 “When we are feeling well in our minds, we hardly notice that we might be harbouring in ourselves anything as formal or as dramatic-sounding as ‘reasons to live.’ We simply assume that we l
How to Tell Whether you're a 'Winner' or a 'Loser' How to Tell Whether you're a 'Winner' or a 'Loser'
4 months ago En
Despite what we might think, there are no such things as ‘winners’ and ‘losers’ in life. Those who win in some areas will lose in others - and vice versa. The task lies in working out where our true successes and failures lie. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/36fbEQH Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3t2aWzO Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3sZxPDY “Our societies have advanced tendencies to label certain people ‘winners’ and others – logically enough – ‘losers’. Aside from the evident meanness of this categorisation, the underlying problem with it is the suggestion that life might be a uni
What Everyone Really Wants What Everyone Really Wants
4 months ago En
Though each individual is unique, deep down, everyone is searching for the same thing: reassurance - a gift that is within all of our power to give. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2NhM32J Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/38XcqU7 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2XZbMPw “We’re often in situations of wanting to help and be kind to others, but of not knowing quite what they might be in need of. We’d like to deepen our connection to them and be of service, and yet lack a real grasp of what we could plausibly offer them; their minds seem impenetrable, their problems opaque. At such moments,
The Three Requirements of a Good Relationship The Three Requirements of a Good Relationship
5 months ago En
It can be hard to know what we really need from a relationship. But the task becomes much simpler if we keep in mind that every relationship requires just three crucial ingredients to work. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2Xyn8Kj Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/39Hq7Wz Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2XCj63C “Many people, after they’ve been in a couple for some time, will privately admit that they are – in many ways – frustrated and disappointed by the person they’ve chosen to share their lives with. If pressed for details, they will have no difficulty coming up with a list: their par
Masochism and Why We Get Addicted to Suffering Masochism and Why We Get Addicted to Suffering
5 months ago En
Masochism is the belief that one is secretly deserving of punishment. Whilst sexual masochism can be fun, emotional masochism - which is much more common - often stems from unexamined trauma. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2XeNOQ1 Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/399PiAq Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3hMJ6T2 “The word Masochism derives, somewhat unfairly for him and his family, from the Austrian 19th century aristocrat and writer, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. As a young man, Leopold made a conventional marriage to a fellow member of the nobility, Aurora von Rümelin, but he swiftly disco
The Secrets of EMDR Therapy and How It Can Help You The Secrets of EMDR Therapy and How It Can Help You
5 months ago En
The fundamental idea behind psychotherapy is that we tend to grow mentally unwell because we haven’t been able to think with sufficient clarity about the difficulties in our past, typically in our distant childhoods. EMDR therapy is a fascinating tool that can help us process these difficulties, move past them and continue with our adult lives. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/37Z5KnR Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/37Z5KnR Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/34VcFfY "The fundamental idea behind psychotherapy is that we tend to grow mentally unwell because we haven’t been able to think with
The Secrets of Other People's Relationships The Secrets of Other People's Relationships
5 months ago En
Those of us in relationships suffer from an ignorance of what other people’s relationships are really like. We should recognise that episodes of difficulty and ambivalence are not the exception, but the norm. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3nJICzp Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3rvdGVV Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2M1Ute6 “A question that rarely leaves us alone in love is: what exactly are other people’s relationships like? The question is far from disinterested sociological curiosity. What we urgently seek to know is: are other people in as much trouble as we are? After a furious
How to Tame a Pitiless Inner Critic How to Tame a Pitiless Inner Critic
5 months ago En
Many of us are struggling with an intensely critical inner voice, one who relentlessly punishes us for failing to live up to an impossible standard. Taming this voice requires us to recognise where it is coming from and what may be driving its fury. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2LGF02T Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3raHrLs Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/389sDUu “One of the tedious aspects of having problems with our minds is that we need to take more of an interest in how they work than untroubled people do: we have to become mind mechanics because something is hurting inside. A
The Secret of Successful Relationships: Rupture and Repair The Secret of Successful Relationships: Rupture and Repair
6 months ago En
No relationship is ever stable; each goes through a regular cycle of ‘rupture’ and ‘repair’. A healthy relationship is not one in which ruptures never occur, but one where both parties are willing and able to repair them. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2VSxR1c Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3oG1WgZ Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/33VjHRr “Many tensions within relationships can usefully be looked at through the prism of a concept much used within psychotherapy: the idea of ‘rupture’ and ‘repair.’ For psychotherapists, every relationship is at risk of moments of frustration or as the t
How to Stop Being a 'good' Boy or Girl How to Stop Being a 'good' Boy or Girl
6 months ago En
We're so used to conforming to the expectations of others that it can be hard to know what 'we' really want. Freedom requires a willingness, at times, to be 'bad'. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3m8lSbl Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/39dFrve Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/33fHZ8d “Some of the reason why adult life can be greyer and more miserable than it should be is that our earliest years are generally made up of a prolonged and highly formative encounter with the idea of obedience. Throughout childhood, there is little doubt that the path to maturity must involve doing a litany o
How to Get Out of a Desparing Mood How to Get Out of a Desparing Mood
6 months ago En
In moments of despair, we may be suffering not from a failure of spirit, but a failure of imagination. The way out lies in exercising our creative capacities. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/36EyVLh Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/36Ej6UO Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2IvSflV “It may sound strange to locate the problem here, but some of our most despairing moods are caused by failures of the imagination. We are not merely ‘sad’; we cannot picture any better life than the agonised one we currently have. What we really mean by imagination is the power to summon up alternatives. When we
How to Read Fewer Books and Get Wiser How to Read Fewer Books and Get Wiser
7 months ago En
To be considered ‘well-read’, one is expected to get through an endless number of books. Instead, like the Ancients, we should focus on the quality not the quantity of one’s reading. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3eKffJo Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3pinfGw Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/35fcAUV “The modern world firmly equates the intelligent person with the well-read person. Reading books, a lot of books, is the hallmark of brilliance as well as the supreme gateway to prestige and understanding. It’s hard to imagine anyone arriving at any insights of value without having worked
Why We Pick Our Skin Why We Pick Our Skin
7 months ago En
Compulsive skin picking is a surprisingly common affliction. Understanding the psychology that underpins it is the first step towards learning how to heal. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/32sMfBd Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2TYgPO5 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2HTScQA “If we were to need any further evidence of the difficulties of being human, we need only study the poignant phenomenon that psychologists call dermatillomania – more commonly known as skin picking. Those who suffer from it will, by definition, be at the anxious end of the spectrum. Few days will be free of g
The Need to Be Honest at the Start of Relationships The Need to Be Honest at the Start of Relationships
7 months ago En
In an effort to please a new partner, it’s sometimes tempting to stretch the truth. But to avoid difficulties down the line, it would be better to be honest - even blunt - from the off. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3ouL3q8 Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3kANs05 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/31ME0zq “A powerful instinct when we meet someone we’re attracted to is to try to please them – and we naturally assume that the best way we might do this is to indicate repeatedly how aligned we are with their views and choices on all matters great and small. On an early date, when they happe
On Feeling Stuck On Feeling Stuck
8 months ago En
Many of us feel ‘stuck’ - wishing we could escape a job or relationship, while being incapable of doing so. Coming unstuck involves examining unhelpful messages we internalised in childhood. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/36FZVLK Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2SCy6M4 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3iDqELt “Many of us spend a large a part of our lives, in one way or another, feeling stuck, that is in a state where a strong desire to move forward on an issue meets with an equally strong compulsion to stay fixed where one is. For example, we might at one level powerfully want to leave
How to Panic a Little Less How to Panic a Little Less
8 months ago En
The philosopher Spinoza shows us that our minds possess an under-appreciated ability to adopt a broader perspective, from which our anxieties appear vanishingly small - and eminently manageable. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2G2Fq1c Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/33eWF8h Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2EIReVF “One of the most useful things about our minds is that they can in some moods allow us to step outside of ourselves – and consider our death from a wholly dispassionate perspective, as if it were someone else who would have to go through the event and as if we could understan
Why There Is No 'Happily Ever After' Why There Is No 'Happily Ever After'
8 months ago En
We long to reach a state where we can at last be happy and calm forever. But so long as we are alive, stability will always elude us for reasons we would do well to understand and accept with grace. We haven't failed if we can't reach a 'happily ever after'; we're simply very human. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/301zpIM Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/360qyuP Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3kLam4J “What most of us long for above all else is ‘security’, the sense that we are – at last – safe on the earth. We pin our hopes for security on a shifting array of targets: a happy relations
Why Voltaire Said: You Must Cultivate Your Own Garden Why Voltaire Said: You Must Cultivate Your Own Garden
9 months ago En
Voltaire's phrase - you must cultivate your own garden - is one of the most famous statements in the world. But what did Voltaire mean by this - and what can we learn from it to help us live our lives today? Here is a recipe for how to survive our troubled times. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3iO98oR Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3hu887K Become a channel member to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3mtAWkg “It is crucial to note the subtitle of 18th century Europe’s most famous novel, written in three inspired days in 1759: ‘Candide – or Optimism’. If there was one central target that its author wanted sa
A Test to Work Out if You're a Good Person A Test to Work Out if You're a Good Person
9 months ago En
Whether or not we count as a good person depends on an unexpected but crucial ingredient. Find out more about whether you qualify by watching the film. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/33aGJmf Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2Zk6LCi Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3m7ovue “There is really only one question you ever need to direct at someone to work out whether or not they are a good person – and that is, with deliberate simplicity: Do you think you are a good person? And to this there is only one acceptable answer. People who are genuinely good, people who know about kindness, patience
12 signs you might be suffering from PTSD 12 signs you might be suffering from PTSD
9 months ago En
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) refers to a state in which we are severely impacted in the present by emotional neglect in our childhoods. The symptoms include high anxiety, low self-esteem, a constant sense of dread - and (often) difficulty being able to sleep. By learning more about our condition, we can (probably through the help of psychotherapy) hope to free ourselves and be more at ease in the world. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2QJmC8X Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3gQuOP0 Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3jAhz6T “The purpose of language is to help us to get
The Dangers of Having Too Little To Do The Dangers of Having Too Little To Do
9 months ago En
We long to get all our work done in order to have free time. But we should be very careful with leisure. Having nothing left to do work-wise can be a very dangerous challenge for our psyches: it can bring on despair and self-loathing. It may be that always having projects on the go can insulate us from mental unwellness. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/34vN4uL Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2EzjKsp Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/3aVvIZf "For most of our lives, we’re hard at work: we’re up till midnight in the library studying for a degree, we’re learning a trade, building a business,
How to Learn to Love Oneself More How to Learn to Love Oneself More
10 months ago En
Self-hatred is a particularly vicious disease which destroys our ability to defend ourselves and to confront enemies. Here are some tips on how to make better friends with ourselves. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2FgqonG Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/30Sfvkt Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/31HF6eX “Every day, especially in the era of social media (from the mental health perspective, probably the single worst invention of modern times), we are likely to face enemies. People who disagree with us, people who tell us we’re ‘bad’, people who say we should be ashamed of ourselves – or e
How Science Can Be As Comforting As Religion How Science Can Be As Comforting As Religion
10 months ago En
We are used to religions telling us consoling and soothing things; but what we often miss is that science has just as many wise and kindly perspectives on our lives - if only we know how to look. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/31nmC31 Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2DzWhXy FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2PqfayK “According to a standard heroic secular account, at the start of the modern age and in just a few short decades, science was able to defeat religion through rigour and brilliance – and thereby forever liberated humankind from ignorance and superstition. For centuries, this account explains, religion had essentially been doing some very bad science. It had purported to tell us how old the earth w
5 Reasons the Modern World Is so Ugly 5 Reasons the Modern World Is so Ugly
10 months ago En
A distinguishing feature of much of the modern man-made world is that it is, first and foremost, very ugly: disappointing modern architecture abounds. We've almost ceased to notice how awful a lot of it is and forgotten how much better we can do. Here are five central reasons why so many buildings have gone wrong and an urgent blueprint for how to build the more beautiful world we deserve. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2COvpmJ Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/30SSGvK FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2P42lKi “One of the great generalisations we can make about the modern world is that it is, to an extraordinary degree, an ugly world. If we were to show an ancestor from 250 years ago around our cities and s
HISTORY OF IDEAS - Loneliness HISTORY OF IDEAS - Loneliness
10 months ago En
Feeling lonely can seem like a very modern problem - but our sense of being alone has a history, and the more we understand the peculiarities of this history, the more we can be liberated to enjoy - rather than feel ashamed about - our solitude. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/32I5qYv Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2OYFyjb FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2ZOpuGC “When we think of what might have been lost on the way to becoming modern, we’re liable to think about mealtimes: how seldom they now take place communally, how rare it is for whole families to gather, how much technology can intrude. In paintings of communal meals that reflect the older way of doing things, we can appreciate how all ages used to
How to Tell If You Are an Introvert How to Tell If You Are an Introvert
11 months ago En
Many of us lead lives that are harder than they should be because we haven't realised a basic thing about ourselves: that we are introverts. We therefore keep driving ourselves into situations and challenges that should best be avoided and neglect our distinctive style of being content. We should dare to learn whether we belong in the introverted camp. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2Oec7ZY Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3gVYURT FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/308YFw6 ”The modern world purports to respect both introverts and their opposites but in practice, the action, the rewards and the glamour are all precisely designed to synchronise with the talents and sensibilities of those in the extroverted camp.
A Test to Judge How Good Your Parents Were A Test to Judge How Good Your Parents Were
11 months ago En
Having had a good enough parent is a vital component of mental health in adulthood. But what really is a good enough parent? How can one tell if one had one or not? This film guides us as to what might have gone very right - and sometimes very wrong - in our childhoods. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2CggVuR Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2ZJQ7LU FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2ZP0L45 "Strangely, and rather awkwardly, it seems no human being can ever really grow up sane unless it has been loved very deeply by someone for a number of years in its early life. But we’re still learning what parental love might actually involve. The word ‘love’ trips lightly off the tongue and few parents – even the most di
How Romantic Attachment Works How Romantic Attachment Works
11 months ago En
Some of the reason why we choose such unsuitable partners in love is that we aren't trying to find someone who ideally suits us, we're looking out for someone who feels familiar. We recreate in adulthood patterns of attachment that we know from childhood - and thereby often perpetuate cycles of suffering and dissatisfaction. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/38r1jRD Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3dMhxpn FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/konrad-lorenz-choosing-partners/ "Konrad Lorenz, who was born in 1903 and died in 1989, was an Austrian ornithologist and zoologist who spent most of his adult life in marshes and wetlands studying the behaviour of greylag geese and jackdaws. W
HISTORY OF IDEAS - Modernity HISTORY OF IDEAS - Modernity
11 months ago En
This is a film about how the world became modern - and in particular what is exciting and beautiful about this development, and at the same time, what is hugely depressing and possibly madness-inducing about it. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2VaFDU8 Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2YrL8jC FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/37TKL47 “Since the middle of the eighteenth century, beginning in Northern Europe and then spreading to every corner of the world, people have become aware of living in an age radically different from any other and which they have called – with a mixture of awe and respect, trepidation and nostalgia – ‘the modern age’, or more succinctly, ‘modernity’. We are now all inhabitants of moderni
Learning to Be Angry Learning to Be Angry
12 months ago En
It can seem as though we all need to learn to be less angry - and that no one has any problem raising their voice and getting their opinions across. The truth is more nuanced. A sizeable number of us suffer from shyness about expressing our real needs and our true aspirations - and thereby do ourselves and others a disservice. A short film which guides us to the need to speak up when we need to. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://www.theschooloflife.com/shop/us/ Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://www.theschooloflife.com/ FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/learning-how-to-be-angry/ “There are many reasons to believe that one of the dominant problems in the world today is an excess of anger. We know
Why We Need to Feel Heard Why We Need to Feel Heard
2 years ago En
Though we all long to have our feelings and needs acknowledged, it seems that nothing is more common than for these to be neglected by people around us. We take so little time to listen to one another and to show that we have absorbed what people have told us. As a result, everyone gets increasingly angry and - deep inside - sad. The answer is to make the art of listening a global priority. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2zZ5hnJ Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3cGgbvC FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2BGovin “One of our deepest longings – deeper than we even perhaps recognise day to to day – is that other people should acknowledge certain of our feelings. We want that – at key moments – our sufferings shoul
ART/ARCHITECTURE - Oscar Niemeyer ART/ARCHITECTURE - Oscar Niemeyer
2 years ago En
Oscar Niemeyer was a great 20th-century Brazilian architect who taught the world how to build in a way that was at once modern and local. He gave Brazil a hugely seductive identity that was in touch with the past but also hopeful about the future. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3gPEryE Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/305EyAj FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2XRFGF7 “One of the most depressing aspects of travel is finding that the world often looks the same in many different places. The towers of downtown Tokyo are indistinguishable from those of Frankfurt or Seattle. That’s no coincidence. Modern architecture was founded on the idea that buildings should logically look the same everywhere. The early fig
ART/ARCHITECTURE Christo ART/ARCHITECTURE Christo
2 years ago En
The Bulgarian artist Christo, together with his partner Jeanne-Claude, showed the world what public art could be. They wrapped the Reichstag, hung a curtain over a valley, placed giant umbrellas across a Japanese mountainside, enclosed some islands in Florida and in general proved that art doesn't have to be a small object on a wall; it can be a force that reshapes the whole world. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2BuSmdD Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3cqLTgy FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/301vCfq “Traditionally, artists made small, lovely things. They laboured to render a few square inches of canvas utterly perfect or to chisel a single bit of stone into its most expressive form. For several centuri
The Seven Most Calming Works of Art in the World The Seven Most Calming Works of Art in the World
2 years ago En
In moments of agitation, personal and nation-wide, what would often best calm us down are not pills or meditation - but the right works of art. Here are seven of the world's most calming works of art, works that know how to restore perspective, reassure us of the future and gently return us to a more bearable state. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2ZHmLzr Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/2B1jRLw FURTHER READING You can read more about these seven works of art - and other subjects - on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2XuP952 “Art has never been mere entertainment. Alongside philosophy and religion, it has been humanity’s chief source of consolation. It is what we should turn to in our very worst moments. Here are seven of the most calming works of art ever produced....
The Benefits of Crying The Benefits of Crying
2 years ago En
We often believe that the very worst and most immature thing to do might be to cry about our sorrows. In fact, the ability to go off for a while and have a very intense cry about how awful everything is is in fact a crucial bit of wisdom - and a very adult move as well. Being a crybaby isn't just something children should be afraid of being called, it's something every adult should be proud to remember about themselves. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/3bHH6XI Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3bKHpRi FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2LDGFmv “One of the wisest things about young children is that they have no shame or compunction whatsoever about bursting into tears, perhaps because they have a more accurate a
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